I will be celebrating my birthday this weekend. I don’t have anything exciting planned… I will have a family dinner that will include Corti’s Ravs and homemade cake and vanilla ice cream from my fave ice cream shop. Visiting friends, having some family time, a soccer game. That’s about it. I opted to wait to celebrate with friends for a little while.
Birthdays have always been something that make me uneasy. Not other people’s, just my own. I believe in celebrating everything all the time… as long as it’s about someone else. When it’s about me I get shy and weird. I’m not sure why that is or where it comes from. I remember turning 10 and freaking out about being in the “double digits”. I’ve had really fantastic birthdays and ones that really disappointed, I’ve been pregnant for two, I’ve been surprised by family (Sweet 16 Roller Rink Party!!), surprised by dear friends, I’ve been forgotten, I’ve been sick for a handful, I’ve been to Vegas a few times just to celebrate me, I’ve sent many brides down the aisle on my BD, and I once had a very bad date that told me we were going to have to share an entree and that I was only allowed one drink. All in all, I’ve been really lucky. I’ve realized that the first several birthdays and the last several have actually been the best ever.
It’s never really the events around the day that I’ve had trouble with. It’s the idea of getting older. The idea that I’m supposed to get “better every year”. Then there’s the revelation that each new birthday means one is taken out of the bank. I mean, having a birthday is far better than not having one… that’s for sure. But how did I measure up to my own expectations throughout the year and what goals should I make for myself this year?
It’s funny how I always put a plan to an age. For example: 26 – Get married. 30 – Have my first baby. I did those things… and now I have not a single birthday milestone on the books. (Note to self – set-up BD milestones.) I always used this date as a check-in to see how I was progressing through the life I wanted to live. Now I have a husband and kids and I’m doing something I truly truly enjoy. That’s the milestone I’m checking off my list this year. As for the future milestones, I’ll just take them as I get them.
Above all, the number one lesson I’ve learned this year is to relax more. Relax and enjoy the ride. Enjoy every second with my husband and our kids. Savor the time we spend with my parents, his parents, and all other family members. Nurture relationships with my dear friends and enjoy moments that make me laugh so hard that I cry. These little memories are the moments that really make life worth living. Those are the moments I find myself reflecting on more and more.
Here’s to another year of laughter, hugs, cuddles, and kisses.