Pee pee in the pott-ay!

the plan collage

So, waaaaaaaay back in January I wrote this post about how I was hosed by my then 2yo to buy a potty that revs it’s engine and some cool big boy unders.  Since then, we have made no progress.  He’s displayed no signs of wanting to use the “big boy” potty.  I mean, really not into it.  All the research I did said to “Take the Quiz”, if I did, he would FAIL.  But the problem is that he just turned 3 and is supposed to go to preschool in the fall.  The preschool has a policy that the kids have to be potty trained or at least “in training”.  So, today I’m starting my Potty Training Boot Camp.  I’ve listened to the reader suggestions from this post and scoured the World Wide Web for all the best tips and tricks in hopes that I can successfully have this little man wearing his big boy pants in no time!





I just know my little Bradycakes will totes rock this!!

Here’s my plan:
  1. I will focus on the boatloads of cash that will be just sitting around our house as soon as I don’t have to buy diapers anymore.
  2. I will not focus on all the other kids that are my son’s age or younger that are already potty trained.  Comparing myself and my son to those super kids and super moms will only impede my gusto.
  3. I’m going cold turkey. (except at nap and bedtime)
  4. I plan to talk to Brady more about how he needs to keep his unders clean and dry instead of constantly telling him to go pee.
  5. I will be extremely patient.
  6. I downloaded the free Pull-Ups app per a reader suggestion.
  7. NO potty gear for me except that I bought some more cool unders.  I originally bought the potty chair, but I only want him to use the regular toilet.  But I may decorate it with a large B, or some stickers of his fave peeps.  We’ll see how that all works.
  8. I will have Brady pack up all his diapers and say good bye.
  9. We will read this book repeatedly: “Even Firefighters Go to the Potty: A potty Training Lift-the flap Story” by Naomi Wax and Stephen Gilpin.  My mother-in-law gave it to him.  It’s super cute and he loves it.
  10. Sit or stand???  I’m leaning towards sit as that’s what moms of boys have unanimously told me.  At the point he starts standing, I would love to put cheerios in the bowl for target practice.  Or in a tin can outside – FUN!
  11. I plan to have my hubby show him how it’s done.  He’s seen him do it standing up, but this time he has to see him do it sitting down.
  12. I plan for him to spend a lot of time naked and outside, preferably.
  13. My daughter is “in” on the potty training.  She’s vowed to help for M&Ms in return.
  14. When he has an accident, I’ll put him on the potty anyway and then have him help me clean up the mess.
  15. I’ll keep track of his trials and errors.
  16. I need to carry a Potty Emergency Kit for accidents when we’re away from home.
  17. When he’s successful I will use the Pull-Ups site and have a character call him and schedule a news break.  We’ll also call family and friends to tell them the good news.
  18. Incentive system?  HELL YEAH!  I’m not above bribes.  I have “Pops for Poops” and “M&Ms for Tinkles”, although I don’t expect any poops for…like…ever.  I also have a progress chart for B to put stickers on and two jars for him to to transfer marbles in when he goes.  For the first day I plan to rotate the three systems to see what he gravitates towards the most.
  19. Don’t expect to see any pics of B sitting on the toilet here.  We’ll save those for the photo montage at his wedding.
  20. I have three potty training songs to keep him entertained and excited.  Each comes with a special dance.  Don’t ask me to show you.  It’s embarrassing.  But here are the original, Mama Momtourage Potty Training songs:
    • “Pee pee in the pott-ay!  Zshooop-ah szhoop-ah Szhooooop-ahhh!”  Sung repeatedly to the tune of “La Cucaracha”.
    • “Poops in the dupes, poops in the dupes.  We don’t like no boys with the poops in the dupes.”  Sung repeatedly to the tune of MC Hammer’s “Pumps in a Bump”.  Meaning, don’t poop your pants.
    • This is a personal favorite some friends and I made up back in 7th grade or something.  No, I have no idea why we could have possibly made up this song.  We made up a few other ones too.  If applicable, I will share with you all someday.  It goes something like this (I cleaned it up for a toddler):

piss piss pee, whiz whiz wee

here it comes right out your pee pee
spray it, lay it, flush it away
shooop shooop shooop pssssss

shooop shooop shooop pssssss

there is the toilet, sit yourself down

spray it, lay it, flush it away

shooop shooop shooop pssssss

shooop shooop shooop pssssss

piss piss pee, whiz whiz wee
here it comes right out your pee pee
spray it, lay it, flush it away
shooop shooop shooop pssssss

shooop shooop shooop pssssss

Here’s the advice I found that I’m not listening to:
  • “Do not leave the house.”  That’s not going to work.
  • “Look for signs that he’s ready.”  Hmmmmm….school is starting in less than a month.
  • “Start young.”  Too late….
  • “Stay at home for a week.”  Not going to happen…
  • “Fill him up with plenty of fluids…except for at bed time.  Around then, restrict fluids and salt and feed them foods that constipate.”…HUH?  Seriously people?
  • “Set a time for your child to go every two hours.”  What?  Who’s kid does that work for?  I’ll follow the free Pull-Ups app and do what they say.  It’s about every 20-30 minutes.
  • “Tell a little white lie: “the pee and other stuff goes down the toilet and feeds the fishes.  Don’t you want to feed the fishes?  You don’t want them to go hungry, do you?”  Just no, I’m not lying to my kid.  Plus, couldn’t this lead to other things going down the toilets to “Save the fish!”?
  • When you are out in the world, be aware of any toilets with an auto flush.  If you HAVE to go in one, just place a post-it over the sensor.”  Who carries post-its with them?  I think I’ll just avoid those all together if at all possible.

No offense to anyone that did any of the above.  These are just not things I see working for me.  Maybe I’ll change my mind in an hour or tomorrow or next week.  Different strokes for different folks and all that.  At any rate, if you have a fully potty trained boy – I have much love for ya!

Wish me luck, clean floors, and dry drawers.







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